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We've been friends for more than 20 years, a person who's overcome several obstacles, her resilience is commendable. But, she has been often taken by surprise by people. Her husband left her, which came as a huge shock. A lot of her friends disappeared then, because they seemed focused solely on him. This surprised her deeply. She made increased attention to be my friend, and must have realised better the meaning of companionship.

Ongoing Issues of Disappearance

In the time since, quite a few in her circle have disappeared without her being sure why. The company she worked for became hostile, despite the fact that she was very skilled at her work, and she left unaware of what had changed.

Current Dynamics

In recent times, we have each left the workforce so we're spending each other more, but I am finding the part I play in our friendship is to listen. I open discussion points and she changes conversation onto things she cares about. In terms of politics, she has strong opinions. I try to recommend double-checking information and alternate views.

She has been organizing a holiday to a country I have traveled to on several occasions and resided in for a while. My intention was to offer advice, yet it was unappreciated. She essentially solely sought me to confirm her choices. I've just ended a month in that place and she wants to reconnect, yet I'm reluctant.

Considering the Choices

I hesitate to act as a friend who cuts and runs without a word, however, I feel she can understand the consequences of how she acts on how I feel about myself. At this point, I find myself in distancing myself. What's the best step?

Potential Solutions

It's possible to walk away, but it is not often the easy answer that we desire. But confrontation aiming for a solution takes courage and openness on both your parts.

Professional advice indicates applying a practical approach to handling disagreements:

"The first step requires explaining how things go when you talk. This needs to be objective and clear like what a recording device would replay. Step two is to tell her how it makes you feel. Ideally, there's no argument on this point. Emotions are your feelings, after all. Finally is to question ways you together going to change the pattern between you."

Keep in mind that she also holds perspectives, meaning you must to stay open to acknowledge it. An approach that works involves stating your friend:

"Please share your thoughts while I will not say anything for a set time."

It's wildly impactful for promoting mutual respect.

Final Thoughts

She might reject everything, for those who hold onto a deep-seated story: they rely on a story about themselves they're unable to let go of as it feels essential relies on it being the only thing familiar to them. This is difficult because there's no easy route here, only cul-de-sacs. However, she might start out this way before reflecting about what you've said. If you never reach a fix, it will give you peace from having been truthful.